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January '09 Without a Single Doubt Living from the Light means living without a single doubt. Yes, you heard me, a single doubt. If you accept the truth, it’s easy. Bless other people by knowing they are doing the best they can, being where they are on their journey. Accept that you are doing the best you can. Try hard, but not beyond comfort and joy. There’s a reason “comfort and joy” ended up in a Christmas carol! Believe the world is on course, events are the best they can be at the moment, and consciousness is rising to include wonderful forgotten values like oneness and love. All of the seeming imbalance is a part of the Greater Balance. We are making the Great Shift now. So despite appearances, IT IS ALL GOOD. Besides, who are we to doubt anything? NO DOUBT means total faith. BELIEVE. Making Friends With Impermanence When you let go of controlling your life, still doing your best but with no concern for the outcome, with no responsibility or attachment to where your best effort travels down the road, you gain freedom. When you watch your thoughts and emotions without clinging to them or claiming them in any way, seeing them as passing sensations, but loving them and thanking them for passing your way as cellular teachers…you gain freedom. When you know you are only the Watcher, and all else is the dance of the cosmos passing, sweeping through your body, you also dance in that freedom, that impermanence. And its essence is giddy sweetness, a burning purity, with cool water flowing gently across your heart. I Have Stepped Up to the Plate What if when you wake up today, you know your life will never be the same? What if the new beginning you always hoped to achieve- that’s been behind the veils- is really here, now? This is happening for many today, though not for the masses, which languish in fear of current circumstances. If this level of consciousness is within your body this morning, perhaps after a few weeks of intense cleansing and clearing of old attachments and beliefs, you will know it. You will feel confident that you have finally arrived at the gate of transformation and passed through. On the surface the world may look the same, but brighter, crisper, more radiant, vivid, like after a rain. You may go about your day, but you will notice that you love every single person you come across. And they seem to catch your light, and it sparks their own as you pass. A lot of smiling happens. You have stepped up to the plate. Emotions are calmer, just sensations. Thoughts are useful or not, but not annoying anymore. When you think of past hurts they flee away quickly when you have no judgment to offer them. Life is much easier, joyful, a sacred transforming ritual. Where the props are not memorized scripts and candles but the breath of your being and the light from your heart. It may have been painful for you lately to get here- you had to release your pain-body and ego, which were too fat to get through the gate. You had to release all control over your life. But can you feel the joy in its place? Where there was fire, and emotion was quick to rise, can you now feel calm? Do you feel your heart being embraced, nurtured and loved by the Divinity within and surrounding you? Can you feel that Presence now that fills your every cell and bounces molecules, can you taste the life on your tongue as you breathe in? This you is nothing but pure beautiful sweet Life. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. There is only one word you care to remember. There is no clinging to any of it, only loving it. Only feeling the rapture in your body. You can stay in this place. This is your home. It is who you are. It will not leave you, though you could choose to leave. Keep to the steady higher ground as the world goes on around you in whatever form it is taking, whatever manifestation arises for the masses in their souls’ journey. Your efforts to stay in this positive safety of heaven will be instantly rewarded. Guard every thought and change it, correct it, you CAN steer this ship. If you read or hear these words, you have found this gate and are passing through now. Your life is a ritual, a prayer, and an altar. Offer yourself. Be yourself. Step up to the plate. Have no fear. Your enlightenment comes at this moment. Just BREATHE. When Your Temple Walls Crumble
I have a beloved friend who keeps me fluid, and he asked: If God is Omnipresence and you are God, can there still be God “out there” and God “in” you? I used to wonder philosophically where God’s will ends and my will begins. But now my question is literal: is there truly physically metaphysically no difference between the inner/outer essences of God that we inhabit? Are we now at a point of spiritual evolution to be blessed with realizing this Oneness connection in its purest essence…with no boundaries? I used to feel that God “out there” was a higher more sacred frequency than the God within. I pray to that Greatness which includes me, and I listen for that Voice which is me yet beyond me. I’ve created and forced a distinction, a separation, where God is a little bit “other” than me. Perhaps in a dualistic world we need a veil of separation, a dichotomy of connecting self to Self…with God being the higher Self. Perhaps our hearts rejoice in expressing appreciation and awe, celebrating the ritual of sacred love, bending a knee to an outer God to honor the sanctity of life. But lately, my temple walls are crumbling, and I feel a dissolving of the boundary between the ALLNESS of God and myself. Is this possible, permissible, or even wise? A Question of Boundaries
Universal Intelligence/One Heart is everywhere present. I am a cell in this Dance of woven creation, of exploding imploding plasma, of infinite unimaginable life, and I wonder about the border that surrounds the “me”. I know what’s inside my temple and other temples drawn into my realm: a supportive non-judgmental light energy of pure love, offering the dynamics of perfect life. But where do the walls of my temple end and God as the Universe in action begin? If He/She is the without, the within, AND also the membrane or walls containing the space inside my temple, how do I comprehend this reality? When you are pure Being, during those treasured moments of stillness and no thought, your walls are down, there are no boundaries, the Oneness is complete between within and without. While still in awe and wonder and love with ALL THAT IS… you are… ALL THAT IS. There is no other; “other” does not exist. During a guided group meditation, I took a journey where I imagined myself as flowing water that traveled and merged into the vast ocean. I began the flow down a river, bobbing gently on a free and happy course, spreading myself into countless fingers of waterways as I danced to the soundless song. When I hit the ocean, I buoyantly rode mammoth swells of rising and falling waves. It made me slightly nauseous and giddy! But the simple relaxing pleasant journey was about to transform, as I rose with the evaporative waters of the ocean into the sky. My vision moved in fast forward speed and I was not a part of the ocean anymore, in fact, I was the entire ocean. Lost within its immensity, the “me” as an original conscious adventurer on a journey ceased to be separate. In continued fast forward, the ocean as me rained upon the earth and entered into the lakes, rivers and streams, which began to surge harder. I nourished the land everywhere I entered her…the deserts and mountains and fields of corn. I remember thinking, just before the thoughts politely left, I am not only the cycle of water, I AM ALL cycles. I AM the One Heart that nourishes all life. I AM ALL...THAT…IS. When we emerged slowly from the guided meditation, I was so overwhelmed I was crying a little. They say we cannot see God, that the light and joy would make us go blind and insane. But the Creator can be felt when your walls are down. When you invite the merging, the invitation is simultaneously extended to you, and for a short timelessness… you become the Waters of Life. What if the walls of all the temples holding divine nature and potential were dismantled? Isn’t this the perfect time to unite? And how do we take down the walls? By becoming so full inside that the walls of our boundaries cannot hold us anymore. Like dams breaking, our flowing waters of love and light burst forth and saturate the dry grounds that have long awaited the healing waters, the waters of your life, to nurture by their pure and simple essence. Allow the waters to fill behind your temple walls. We will know, be ready, One Pure Note The goal for my Self used to be to make decisions that moved me toward the light. Once I understood the light was composed of love, non-judgment, joy at the sanctity of life, listening for God’s will until I felt it was my will… then my mission was and still is to BE the light, full of hope, reverence for earth and humankind, compassion, inspiration, and appreciation. I AM the sun coming out. I join the choir of singing this one pure note in universal harmony: “ I LOVE.” If we love unceasingly to the best of our ability, we will create and live in golden fields. The Switch
I tell myself it’s OK to be sad, to feel lonely. Instant Oasis
I’m not sure where I have been. I will stop throughout the day and say to myself: “I am only here and only now. Nothing else matters. I rest here. There is nothing more important to do. Nothing I lack from the world. No quality of my being not up to par. This is IT.” This is the place all hearts rest, so I am always in the highest company. This is the place God’s heart lives. There is nowhere else to go or be. I rest. The Vessel Even the waters that fill me to the brim are not mine. My usefulness now lies only in the fact that I exist. I only need be strong enough to hold together. If I could teach someone anything at all, Are we CONVERGING TOWARDS UNITY? Do we lose our precious diversity? How is this Dance happening? The word "convergence" expresses how we are approaching the same point from different directions. I believe a spiritual evolution at this moment in history is propelling us to a common conclusion and result, towards unity. I always thought this was inevitable, since most people believe there is only One omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Power, call it God or Consciousness. No one particular religion is special, they all are, and none of them are; all individuals have a direct line to the Reality that includes everything that IS. Most of us are still inside a house, looking out a window of cultural, religious and philosophical beliefs. But we need to go outside to the beach, where Reality IS! I feel a down-pouring of Light from the universe, and a rising of One Heart in the mass consciousness. People are opening up, being less judgmental, less fearful of the downfall of the world economy. Even a friend who is in the high echelons of Wall Street said: "The Phoenix will rise from the ashes. It will be something better. We just need to help those who are losing jobs and houses right now, open our spare bedrooms and kitchens." Let us keep our vision of a positive future in our daily thoughts, since by thoughts civilizations are created, and destroyed. Here are some glimmers of convergence , or unity, to help you in this Dance: Convergence is stepping onto the beach, shedding our skins of magnificent differences, and doing a dance as the One Light that we are. Then putting our skins back on, and our hats and cloaks of many colors, and going about our business of playing the many roles and adventures of the Creator. Unity and diversity, together, the perfect paradox that Reality IS. The wondrous variety of life-forces swirling like dervishes around a holy center of ONENESS. Convergence is also alignment, as when the planets align, or all the purposes for humanity align in the Master Drama, which ends the current duality-cycle on our planet. All roles are being played according to Creative design, of which we are a part. All polarities are strong and vibrant. All possibilities explored, all probabilities unfold. All are coming together in the ultimate, inevitable DANCE. Life is converging. Always converging…always unfolding…always attracting. But what happens after the convergence? All is blended and homogenized into stardust! Unified, pulverized, imploded then exploded, coughed out into more dancing, more uniqueness, more diversity… to begin a convergence again. We are particles and spirits, souls with intention. Always playing, dancing, converging, sharing ALL in the end, in the unity called Reality. We are converging at THIS moment in time, me, you, and all the forces in the Universe. Keep your hats; love your separate coats. How can I dance at this party if there is no one besides me? I need partners to dance with. We can have fun! And not yet lose our selves in the One River of Life. I want no windows and no doors to stand behind. I want to be on the beach looking at the waves and sky with a clear view of Reality. Won't you join me? Although we may disappear! That would be true unity. May You Find the Christ in YOU
The Christ came to me, not dressed in a jeweled gown of white, floating on a cloud, but as a whisper in my heart: “Come, child, although my birth as the Jesus is celebrated this season, it is your birth that brings me deepest joy.” I wept, that my light had been noticed in the darkness of the world. That the sublime and Divine had found me, at last. I wept the tears of a child who understands… that I will never understand, but I can feel something happening. In my stillness, I can feel a presence, a oneness, a connection to my source. If you are aware, you will notice the moments it has come to ignite your heart. Perhaps you have already welcomed theses rays of the Sun, and a fire is building inside you now. I could write the attributes of God on paper all day, debate intellectually with friends all night, but asking a human to explain God is like asking a fish to explain the water in which it swims…IT is ALL THAT IS. There is nothing else or other. But my heart really doesn’t care about the mechanics of this grand Play we’re in of dancing forms: that my inner light is a borrowing from Source, the Spirit of all things in all places at all times; that I AM one with the Great Being; that IT is igniting and gathering all souls of light to come to the harvest table of ascended life; or that Light is attracting Light, and becoming the One Light that will indeed save the world from itself and create a new earth of higher vibration. My heart is discovered, and only wants to dance to the music of the spheres in wild abandonment, crying and shouting, “I am found! I am loved! I AM Love!” Christ-consciousness kisses the beauty sleeping within my soul, whispering: “Come, beloved child. Come live fully! Love with every ounce of your being, which is my being, which is our being, which is ALL manifested being!” My Christ woke me, and the light surrounding us was in every cell of my body and soul, and there was only light and only love. I realized there would never be another me again, and that there never had been a me. The light is all there ever was and IS. I have not been found by a Christ who loves me and loves every person individually, but I have been awakened by the Christ of Ages, the blessed sweet Spirit of joy and illumination. I have experienced a re-connection to my Source of life and felt love pouring from a Creator to Its creation. In moments of silence, I am fed by the power of the Life Force, which eternally gives birth and nourishes. It caresses and opens my heart to full realization that I, too, am ALL THAT IS. That I, too, AM the Christ. “Now that you have come home,” the light said to me gently, coaxingly, “Won’t you help gather in your brothers and sisters before it gets dark? While they can still see by their lights?” “There is nothing else I would rather do,” I replied humbly, “for I want to show you how much I really love you.” I knew I would have all the light to see by for my mission, all I could possibly carry. But as I stepped out onto the path, I lost track. I didn’t feel like I was carrying it anymore. As the Light stepped out onto the path, It was not being carried inside anymore. The person was gone, but the Christ Light continued travelling. One Spirit of Comfort and Joy: Cindy and The Wolf Man of Croatia
A few days before Christmas I opened the mail, and when I read a letter from The Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary (WSWS) about Trinity, the 1 ½ year old sweet girl wolf I had “adopted”, I knew something was wrong. “Thank you for all of the support, generosity and kindness you were able to offer Trinity during her time with us.” “Time with us.” What did that mean? My gut wrenched into knots. It meant Trinity had died. This just can’t be! My mind reeled, and my heart began breaking for a wolf, all over again. I’d adopted Trinity a year before as a pup, when her mother Sierra had died. Sierra had been used by a puppy-mill breeder before she came to the WSWS, and never been allowed to keep and raise her offspring. When she came to the Sanctuary and it was discovered she was pregnant, the Staff was elated, since they had never before had wolf pups born at the facility. When Sierra gave birth, it was hallelujah jubilation for the entire White Mountains as Maverick Magazine readers kept abreast of what was called the Mountain Pack. Mother Sierra and father Yukon, who had been together for years, would now be able to feel the sweet process of raising their children. Trinity was her mama’s girl; she was shy and stayed close to Sierra. When Sierra died less than 6 months after experiencing true but unfulfilled motherhood, Trinity mourned terribly. My heart cried with her for several days. The whole Mountain mourned. It seemed so unfair. And now my little Trinity had died. I knew all the things to tell myself, like birth and death are opposite events, but Life goes on forever and ever. But it still hurt, and tears flowed for a gentle wolf, once again. I couldn’t control my grief. When someone you love dies, it is a reminder we can’t control everything. And in choosing to experience the highs and lows of feeling, I allow my heart to be torn and opened wide, and my spirit to cast my pain to the wind. But life relentlessly bestows on us its nature of comfort and joy, and I would receive a miracle for Christmas. I have a video on YouTube I posted a year ago, when I visited the Sanctuary, entitled “Wolf Kisses.” I am getting kisses from the wolf Raven. No one has left a comment for me on YouTube about that wolf video in 7 months. And now, a few days after Trinity dies, I got a comment, and the person asks to communicate with me. It is a man living in Croatia, called the Wolf-Man of Croatia, (real name Pavle Balenovic). BBS did a program on him. He lived with the wolves, re-introduced and raised them in the wild, and had a wolf companion named Lik for 18 years, before Lik died. “I know exactly how you feel,” he had responded to me. It was exactly what I needed for Christmas. I e-mailed him back the following letter: “Dear Paul, To me it means the spirit of the wolf IS forever. A few days ago, my adopted wolf girl Trinity died. She was only 1½ years old. I am sad still, but now I know the Universe or Spirit loves me. It has sent me a sign of grace- being contacted by you, someone who loves wolves and understands their spirit. This is my sign that we are all One, every living thing, connected in the spirit. In the video you watched of me with Raven last year, I said kisses from Raven are the best Christmas present a girl could ever get. But being kissed by the Spirit of Life… is even better! YOU have now given me the best Xmas present ever! Have a wonderful New Year, Cynthia Clayton” After enjoying a few Christmas parties and events with beloved friends this season, I stayed home alone on Christmas day. I wanted to contemplate and give thanks, for the One Spirit of comfort and joy that has blessed me this Christmas. There is nowhere that Spirit is not, even a remote town of Croatia. My wish for you this New Year, is that you recognize and give thanks for all the blessings of Spirit in your lives! Love and Light! Cynthia Clayton A wondrous future is upon us! A great shift in our consciousness and in our reality is very close. Much is happening at levels of which we are unaware. Ultimately, it is about lifting up our consciousness, so that we will achieve full consciousness. Many are on this path already, and aware that it is possible to bring the Light into their lives, by keeping centered, regardless of what is happening around them. Dance Into the Light I do love the Light! And how do I know the Light? This game of soul enhancement goes on and on in some planes, some dimensions, very dense and troubled places. But do we want to continue this struggle, or live in more Light? Stirring Up The Dark Are you going through some “stuff” all of a sudden? Expect it to continue. I will suggest one technique to clear things up in your formerly tranquil pond, but first, we have come so far and made great strides, so why are we having “stuff” appear in our formerly peaceful minds? I wonder, as I feel myself go more and more into the Light, am I trying to reckon with the nature of the Dark, which is also my nature? We have noticed our light growing stronger, and the Presence within clinging less and less to perspectives and judgments, clinging less to anything personal, except love shared, even memories are becoming dimmer. As fewer and fewer corners within our awareness are left unlit by the potency of the sweet light that is filling us, we notice something is crying deep inside. Our Shadow Self lies in the dark bottom of our pond, and must be resuscitated, acknowledged, nurtured, and freed. We are choosing to face every “dark” part of us. They say the dark is only the lack of light, that light is the true Reality. Mankind’s enslavement to ways of lower energy is our soul’s choice and the way to learn and grow and experience a plethora of life. But it feels much more substantial and painful than that! If you walk in a pond with sludge covering the bottom, it feels like quicksand! There are feelings, thoughts and actions that we know are disturbing us and causing us misery, but we can’t seem to let them go. Our goal, by choosing to be born at this time of ascending consciousness into a new reality of living, is to integrate the light and dark, balance the higher and lower energies, and then transmute the entire process. This is what all peoples of the earth are beginning to do right now, as the collapsing imbalanced systems trigger them to look within. We begin inner balancing, and when enough people are realigned inside it will tip the balance toward a new world. We have to create and hold the highest and purest energy inside us before we can create it outside. This is why the dredging is crucial. Our soul is assisting us by bringing us our “stuff.” DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK. YOU CAN CHANGE IT WITH YOUR HEART. I notice when I mention “The Dark” to some light-bearing people who have childhood bogeymen still ingrained, I see a little fear creep into their countenance, and they change the subject or want to ignore the concept. I certainly did for years. I know the Light; I have been living in and growing in the light. I have knowingly shielded myself in positive vibration by life-enhancing thoughts and choices of action. Why focus on the dark? Because I understand it now; and it needs my help. WE HAVE MET THE DARK, AND IT IS US So many questions came up for me when I began defining “The Dark.” Are you ready? Here goes! Maybe some of these are your thoughts as you stir up the sludge in your pond. Don’t worry; we’re almost to the “Clearing Technique”!
PHEWWWWWW!!!! I suppose any one of these would make great conversation at a party, but I’m about to put this whole dark thing behind us. Catharsis, or “Clearing Ritual”. There is a simple ritual you can do to bring up the muck from your pool and deal with it on a regular basis. Whenever you feel a little unclear, just do the following. Your light is offering love to your dark, which somehow leaves on its own accord, without a lot of fanfare! During a quiet time alone, surround yourself with your favorite lighting, candles, incense, and wrap in a soft snuggly blanket. Get relaxed and comfy. Hug yourself; touch your cheek lovingly. Allow one emotion or situation to come forward at a time. Notice. Don’t comment or evaluate. Don’t judge. Don’t try to fix anything or change anything. Just watch. Become a compassionate observer, a watcher. Put distance between you and what you’re watching. Just sit with your thoughts, tell yourself you are ready to see what is arising, that issues or feelings are welcome to come forward. Keep your mind on noticing what feelings arise. Say “such and such” is arising,” or “such and such” is coming out. For example: “Fear is arising in regards to…” or “ I notice sadness is coming out because of…” Don’t claim it or say: “I am feeling…” or “I am…” Keep your distance. There are two of you in this interaction. Now the most important part. As the compassionate observer, enfold yourself in love, in true compassion, hold yourself within the heart of your highest self. Not pity or sorrow, but sheer compassion. You will notice after you go through your list, repeating this loving kindness with each item that comes up, you will feel cleansed and refreshed. Until the next time, and if the same issues repeat…they will be less intense. |
This is my life, but it is not my life.